Diagnosis

In January 2005 I was diagnosed with invasive multi-focal Breast Cancer. During the biopsy they found two cancerous lymph nodes and three separate tumors. At that point everything became a blur. Everyone from my Surgeon to my Oncologist to my family to even myself decided the Cancer needed to be removed as soon as possible. I have always been pragmatic and I felt that the cosmetic result was not important. In truth I still feel that way. So two weeks later I had a Mastectomy with part of my chest muscle removed and the Lymph nodes under my arm removed and checked as well.

As I was preparing to start Chemo, I made some important decisions, mostly about how I was approaching this and not so much about treatment. I was not going to do anything that didn't help me get better. After Chemo was done and I was feeling more like myself I would have plenty of time to feel sorry for myself if I still wanted to. I have never said "Why me?" one in eight women will be diagnosed with Breast Cancer, "Why not me?". By saying "Why me" you are really saying it shouldn't be me it should be someone else, and I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

And so, the adventure began. I had a 6 year old, to whom, it was difficult to explain the situation, no family besides my husband within a two hour drive, a full time job and as I learned wonderful friends and a community that rallied around me with a vigor that I found amazing. I joined a support group which became a lifeline for me and underwent Chemotherapy trying for as much normalcy as possible.

There are several things about a Cancer Diagnosis that no one ever seems to mention so I will mention them here since I think they are important.

• There will be people who are uncomfortable with the illness and you may lose some people who can't deal with it.
• You will have the same conversation with everyone, over and over again. People seem to think that you lose all other interests and become completely one dimensional. You need to be the one to redirect that behavior.
• People need to help you. It makes them feel as though they are participating in your recovery. Those that care about you scared and needy too.
• You may be the one diagnosed with Cancer but it effects your family as well. The whole family is under stress. They will be taking on more responsibility while you are undergoing treatment, not to mention their worry.
• Do not underestimate the financial impact of cancer treatment. Even if you have insurance do not think that treatment is "free".
• Most importantly, your treatment is up to you. If your doctor tells you there are no options except the one they think is right, find another doctor. You should be involved in the decisions, it helps you feel more vested in the outcome. Treatment and recovery are activities you therefore need to be an active participant.